When we met, I had been divorced for a little over a year and she had been divorced for about the same. How we met is not important, but if interested, look at some prior posts and it is explained in detail. But, when I met her, I was alot like that scorpion. As a Scorpio, everything is pretty self centered anyway. She immediately grabbed my heart. She tamed me in a way, I wanted her in my life. Oddly enough, she wanted to be in my life. We both had exes, big deal. Both divorced for very different reasons, again, big deal. But, we both bring a daughter with us. Very big deal in deed. Mine is almost 7 years older than hers. That will be the absolute last time you ever hear me reference either of them like that again. They are our daughters. One and the same. No step nothing here, never has been. Life goes on, a year more and we are married. We lived separately until that day, in fact we lived on opposite sides of Houston. We did not have a traditional church wedding, we both had been there and done that. We, in fact, were married in the very gazebo I built for my mother when I was in high school. It held 23 people with ease. Yes, a small wedding, immediate family only.
Time goes on and in the summer of 2001, our son was born. Up to this point, prior to his birth and now, I never attended church with my family. It was understood not to ask and not to want me to come, because I would not. However, that does not mean I was not involved with the church. (Huh). I still drive the bus every Sunday, I am still the handy man, and I still do the craft fairs, garage sales, and decorations for choir and holiday plays. Read about that in a prior post too if you want to, its down there somewhere. I support them in attending church, they seem to have found something they were all looking for.
We tend not to discus religion with me. They all know I think the bible is the grandest of all fairytale. But, on occassion, we do want to talk about my opinions or historical biblical facts I might know or ones I can help research. I have read both the old testament and the new testament from cover to cover many times over, looking for something I never lost, so they know that I will help them on their quest. My wife's views and mine differ greatly, but we leave it out of our daily lives, her choice more than mine I spose.
My son, for the most part seeks answers. He is what I like to call a knowledge whore. He wants to gather as much information about every subject he can until he feels he is an expert on the subject. In that regard, we are the same. When it come to christianity, religion, God, and even Jesus, he thought he a good grasp on it all. Until he got the chicken pox. That's all in a prior post below too in you want to read up on it. I received alot of backlash for how I handled the whole questioning God's divine work in the universe. I find it healthy to question the things you think you know. Should I have probably kept my mouth closed? I did not encourage the behavior, did I?
For the first time ever, my wife and I had an all out argument about my opinions versus the rest of the "sain" world. I lost or I quit. The peace in my house is more important than my religious views. We had to agree to disagree. This moment haunts me now because I don't want anyone to question their beliefs based on what I might think. For now, I guess you can say that it is done. I think it has been filed in the "to be continued file" personally.
And now life goes on. We are a happy family. Things have gone back to how they were before Jackson started asking why and how. My wife is no longer mad at me about this topic. So we are golden again. You see, a christian and non-christian can be married, raise a family, and have a good life together. I pick and choose my battles very carefully. I, for the most part, am selfish, I never fight unless I know the outcome. So, I don't fight, it wastes time, energy, and someones feeling always get hurt. Most people carry that with them for life.
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If you love and care for someone, you learn to live with the differences. My wife often tells me we have absolutely nothing in common, but there must be "something" since we've been together over 30 years.
ReplyDeleteI'm in your position (me, atheist; wife, Christian), but we don't quarrel about anything, never mind religion. We decided long ago that quarrelling is a complete waste of time.
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